Monday, January 4, 2010

Who's really that girl...

"This world done changed
So much yeah yeah
This world done changed
Since I been conscious

Oh, what in the world will we do?
Will we ever make it, yeah
Oh yeah know it ain't right
Oh, is it in Your plan?"


-Erykah Badu..(2000 A.D.)

Everywhere you go in the gay community there's always somebody trying to be "that it girl". Whether it's writing checks in order to rock the hottest fashions, being known as the drugs supplier or being known as the one who dates the hottest people, somebody is constantly looking for FAME. I often wonder what propels most gays to want to exercise this behavior. Yea, it's easy to write them off as fags, whore's or junkies but I really believe there is more to it. I can't imagine someone wanting to live their life in the fast lane that usually ends in destruction(jail or dead). Then again, I never imagined that I would be a openly gay male.

"The second verse is dedicated to the men
More concerned with his rims and his Tims' than his women
Him and his men come in the club like hooligans
Don't care who they offend popping yang like you got yen"

-Lauryn Hill, Doo Wop

In life we encounter people of all facets. Although there are things we may not agree with, you learn to accept people for face-value. Some people who do bad things actually have good hearts(oxymoron but true). Check it, I have a friend named Goldie who lived with me for almost 6 months while I was a junior in college. She never stole from me and I could leave my wallet on the kitchen counter and come back the next morning and nothing be touched. She helped me with the bills and was a great person with a great heart but had issues. The issue was, she had sticky fingers and didn't really know how to balance her habit(ecstasy only).

Day in and day out she would go to different stores and take what she felt belong to her. She would then sells it for profit to buy drugs, a outfit for the club, and food. Although it was a known fact that I disagreed with her actions, I was a poor college student that needed occasional help with bills. Does that make me a bad person? That I don't know. But I do know that Goldie had been practicing her habits for years. She often tried to get her life back on track but usually hit a stumbling block due to her felony record. She had lost hope in the system so she continued to put her dreams on the back-burner so she could survive reality. Reality being, living for the moment by doing what she knows best...stealing. I mean, what would you do?


Little Goldie is Twenty-Five years old
She's steady trying to figure why the world is so cold
So she pops pills to get rid of all the pain
Runaway love, Runaway love(I will run away with you)

-Ludacris, Runaway love

I'm sure everybody has stories similar and probably worse. But I often wonder what is the excuse for the homosexuals that don't have a felony record? What is the excuse for the one's that were raised in a good home(whether it's single parent or with both parents)? These people had every opportunity to get it right. You have people who were in your corner since birth. You have no reason not to be employed because you have don't have strikes against your record. You can still get federal aid to go to college but most importantly, you still have a voice. How dare you NOT exercise your rights at a better life.

"We were rooting for you, we were all rooting for you and how dare you... Learn something from your actions and take responsibility for yo'self"
Tyra Banks yelling at Tiffany on Cycle 4 of America's Next Top Model.

Most of people practicing these hideous, unnatural things didnt have anybody while growing up. That's why they probably turned to drugs to be a void and escape their deepest pain. That's why they risked going to jail to get the Prada shoes because they never had the opportunity to get new shoes while growing. That's why they probably turn to prostitution because they often feel selfless and nobody never informed them of their self worth. I want y'all to know it's OKAY. It's never to late to change. I also apologize for not being a voice to the one's I could have actually advised. I apologize laughing at you and calling you LATE for being the way you are. Truth is, we all have insecurities and making fun of someone else only temporarily relieves us of our own self-struggles. I'll work better with the ones that need and want the help.

Nonetheless, I can't do it all. We as community have to step up to the plate together and educate our brothers and sisters who are growing up in a different world than we did. We often wonder why people are so stereotypical against gays. Some may say because we're judged on a different scale than heterosexuals, some may say because people are hateful and some may say because the world will never embrace love between the same sex. If you guessed this, your right. But there is a key element we're missing. Whatever happened to... us embracing OUR OWN potential. Whatever happened to homosexuals being the smartest in the class, the only one in the family that went to college and the one who worked twice as hard because they knew the world was against them? We have allowed these good things to pass us by and allowed the drugs, prostitution and theft to take over. No, I'm not saying that negative habits just came about. But yes I am saying their even more prevalent in today's society.

It's up to us to create a sense of importance on these deadly habits. Instead of calling these young kidz LATE, we have to be the beacon of light and continue to carry the torch of insight. If not, who will? Everybody will be in jail, sick(HIV/AIDS), uneducated and invisible. It's our call to duty to tell someone:

"No, you need to get back in school and stop the drugs."
"No, you need emotional therapy to deal with things in your past."

I know it all sound unrealistic but if it hadn't been for the older gays at Grambling State University helping mold me as a freshman in college, there ain't no telling where I'd be.

Take challenge...don't let it die!

Applause and we all start chanting together...BELOW

It's the mystery of Inequity...
Said it's the misery of Inequity...
Said it's the history of Inequity...
When it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down

Children...
Eat your bread
Little children...
Eat your bread
Cuz it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down


Lauryn Hill "Mystery of Iniquity"

4 comments:

Daddy Squeeze Me! said...

VERY VERY EVERY TREMENDOUS POST! A+++

DeEryk said...

Thank you again. The love is pouring in from all corners. I'm soaking in love right now. appreciate you all for enjoying my thoughts!

UrSoVain said...

Feelings of inadequacy are pretty common in our community and do our best to make up for it hence that whole "trying to be a celebrity" thing. We don't really have those big milestones that the breeders have so sometimes we get lost on the way to becoming a functioning adult. I suppose the best any of us can do is be there for the next person. It's difficult not to judge others, its what we do as a species... but we do maintain the ability to alter our viewpoints. So we must send the message to the next cunt... "don't let this universe regret you"

back2life said...

Excellent post!