DISCLAIMER: This story is very graphic sexually. If you don't like that type of language please dont read.
I Just wanna fuck...I just wanna fuck...I just wanna fuck...(keep Repeating with a techno beat)
-GAY CLUB MUSIK
The other day I was listening to a friend mines tell me about how our other friend named Goldie was using chat sites for Internet escorts. My initial thought was, whatever happened to a simple fuck? Why does someone always have to make money off everything they do? It's something I still don't understand and I don't think I ever will. This caused me to think back to my days when the gay connector introduced me to this thing called, free fucks.
It was my sophomore year in college, I met this guy named Cash(not his name), but that's what we will call him. He was on BGC and we were both up at 3a.m. looking for the same thing, yall know the routine. His profile had no pics but it was something about this guy that kept my attention spanned- his swagger. For the first time, this wasn't a girl, this was a man to my surprise. Being a gay student that just moved into a 1 BR apartment I was eager for someone to keep me company, so I invited him over. It took me a hour to get ready being that I had to make sure my body was smelling irresistible(swag check).
Nonetheless, all of sudden I get a call saying, "Whats the apartment number?" I replied, "Eleven." Cash then replied "Make sure you naked when you opened the door," I was soo turned-on from that single remark. I wasn't sure what he looked like in person but I was ready to indulge in a night a passion that hopefully wouldn't leave to a lifetime of pain. (Y'all know the gays be sick-HIV nowadays)
"I don't want dick tonight...Yea...eat my pussy right"
-Lil Kim
Anyway, he knocked on the door and walked in like he lived there. He sat on the couch quietly just staring at the television knowing he wasn't watching. I was like, "you don't like what you see?" He replied, "hell yea, I'm lovin it." I then invited him into the bedroom and as he was walking I realized this guys body was bangin, you could say he was built like a wide receiver but even that wouldn't be good enough. 6' 3, dark brown skin, 8 pack, beautiful lips and a ass for days. Now, I wasn't a bottom but this is definitely the time when you try something new-ya dig. I didn't know anything about douching at the time so I was in fear of doing what soo many bottoms do... paint.
He began by licking my neck while slightly pinching my nipples. My body was literally on fire. All I could think about was the less fortunate punks that were settling for "sissy's." I was amazed because I was having relations with a man, and though he wasn't mine, at least for that moment I was the only one with him. He begin to lick in between my thighs sending me into constant shock. As a sophomore I was very inexperience so any touch would send me on a frenzy.
"Ooh Baby, I Be Stuck To You, Like Glue Baby, Wanna Spend It All On You, Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot, Call Me Mr. Flintstone, I Can Make Your Bed Rock (oooh..)"-Young Money
He spreads my ass open and begin to get his grown man on by licking, spitting, tonguing and tasting me OOOHHH AHH. I wanted to scream because it felt like my male principle was about to explode. But oh no, I couldn't let him get the best of me so I pulled down his shorts and reached for this male principle. It was by far the smallest thing I have ever seen but I didn't give a fuck. All that could run through my mind was, "How can a guy with this body be gay?" Quickly, I regained my composure and thought about the fact that he was everything I dreamed of and I was about to endure hottest session to date.
"Ok I Get It, Let Me Think, I Guess It's My Turn, Maybe It's Time To Put This Pussy On Ya Sideburns,"
-Nicki Manij
Now it was time for loving and unlike Savannah in Waiting to Exhale, I did it, I closed my eyes and ...I sucked it. I'll admit, prior to this night I wasn't the best at it but that night I felt like I had championed the art. He moaned soo loud and occasionally kissed me. I felt like this guy may have even like me. So I asked him to do the obvious, let me fuck him. He rejected at first, but after kissing his ass cheeks he began to turn over and get on his knees in the doggy-style position while I lubbed my dick. I couldn't believe it, so I completed the order. I fucked him all over the room. Watched him ride me while I look in his eyes with my toes curling because the pussy was dat good. Watchin him be soo vunerable while my dick was inside him. Occasionally pullin my dick out just so he can suck it while I eat his ass. Man, you talk about being lucky. Hell, that night I was the winner..More importantly, my male ego was alive.
"I may be poor..black...I may even be gay...But Dear Fans, IM HERE...IM HERE."-DeEryk inspired through Ceilie from Color Purple.
Don't Judge me...
P.S. OMG, I can't believe I have rambled about a gay connector experience.
Tell me about one of yours?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
Who's really that girl...
"This world done changed
So much yeah yeah
This world done changed
Since I been conscious
Oh, what in the world will we do?
Will we ever make it, yeah
Oh yeah know it ain't right
Oh, is it in Your plan?"
-Erykah Badu..(2000 A.D.)
Everywhere you go in the gay community there's always somebody trying to be "that it girl". Whether it's writing checks in order to rock the hottest fashions, being known as the drugs supplier or being known as the one who dates the hottest people, somebody is constantly looking for FAME. I often wonder what propels most gays to want to exercise this behavior. Yea, it's easy to write them off as fags, whore's or junkies but I really believe there is more to it. I can't imagine someone wanting to live their life in the fast lane that usually ends in destruction(jail or dead). Then again, I never imagined that I would be a openly gay male.
"The second verse is dedicated to the men
More concerned with his rims and his Tims' than his women
Him and his men come in the club like hooligans
Don't care who they offend popping yang like you got yen"
-Lauryn Hill, Doo Wop
In life we encounter people of all facets. Although there are things we may not agree with, you learn to accept people for face-value. Some people who do bad things actually have good hearts(oxymoron but true). Check it, I have a friend named Goldie who lived with me for almost 6 months while I was a junior in college. She never stole from me and I could leave my wallet on the kitchen counter and come back the next morning and nothing be touched. She helped me with the bills and was a great person with a great heart but had issues. The issue was, she had sticky fingers and didn't really know how to balance her habit(ecstasy only).
Day in and day out she would go to different stores and take what she felt belong to her. She would then sells it for profit to buy drugs, a outfit for the club, and food. Although it was a known fact that I disagreed with her actions, I was a poor college student that needed occasional help with bills. Does that make me a bad person? That I don't know. But I do know that Goldie had been practicing her habits for years. She often tried to get her life back on track but usually hit a stumbling block due to her felony record. She had lost hope in the system so she continued to put her dreams on the back-burner so she could survive reality. Reality being, living for the moment by doing what she knows best...stealing. I mean, what would you do?
-Ludacris, Runaway love
I'm sure everybody has stories similar and probably worse. But I often wonder what is the excuse for the homosexuals that don't have a felony record? What is the excuse for the one's that were raised in a good home(whether it's single parent or with both parents)? These people had every opportunity to get it right. You have people who were in your corner since birth. You have no reason not to be employed because you have don't have strikes against your record. You can still get federal aid to go to college but most importantly, you still have a voice. How dare you NOT exercise your rights at a better life.
"We were rooting for you, we were all rooting for you and how dare you... Learn something from your actions and take responsibility for yo'self"
Tyra Banks yelling at Tiffany on Cycle 4 of America's Next Top Model.
Most of people practicing these hideous, unnatural things didnt have anybody while growing up. That's why they probably turned to drugs to be a void and escape their deepest pain. That's why they risked going to jail to get the Prada shoes because they never had the opportunity to get new shoes while growing. That's why they probably turn to prostitution because they often feel selfless and nobody never informed them of their self worth. I want y'all to know it's OKAY. It's never to late to change. I also apologize for not being a voice to the one's I could have actually advised. I apologize laughing at you and calling you LATE for being the way you are. Truth is, we all have insecurities and making fun of someone else only temporarily relieves us of our own self-struggles. I'll work better with the ones that need and want the help.
Nonetheless, I can't do it all. We as community have to step up to the plate together and educate our brothers and sisters who are growing up in a different world than we did. We often wonder why people are so stereotypical against gays. Some may say because we're judged on a different scale than heterosexuals, some may say because people are hateful and some may say because the world will never embrace love between the same sex. If you guessed this, your right. But there is a key element we're missing. Whatever happened to... us embracing OUR OWN potential. Whatever happened to homosexuals being the smartest in the class, the only one in the family that went to college and the one who worked twice as hard because they knew the world was against them? We have allowed these good things to pass us by and allowed the drugs, prostitution and theft to take over. No, I'm not saying that negative habits just came about. But yes I am saying their even more prevalent in today's society.
It's up to us to create a sense of importance on these deadly habits. Instead of calling these young kidz LATE, we have to be the beacon of light and continue to carry the torch of insight. If not, who will? Everybody will be in jail, sick(HIV/AIDS), uneducated and invisible. It's our call to duty to tell someone:
"No, you need to get back in school and stop the drugs."
"No, you need emotional therapy to deal with things in your past."
I know it all sound unrealistic but if it hadn't been for the older gays at Grambling State University helping mold me as a freshman in college, there ain't no telling where I'd be.
Take challenge...don't let it die!
Applause and we all start chanting together...BELOW
It's the mystery of Inequity...
Said it's the misery of Inequity...
Said it's the history of Inequity...
When it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down
Children...
Eat your bread
Little children...
Eat your bread
Cuz it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down
Lauryn Hill "Mystery of Iniquity"
So much yeah yeah
This world done changed
Since I been conscious
Oh, what in the world will we do?
Will we ever make it, yeah
Oh yeah know it ain't right
Oh, is it in Your plan?"
-Erykah Badu..(2000 A.D.)
Everywhere you go in the gay community there's always somebody trying to be "that it girl". Whether it's writing checks in order to rock the hottest fashions, being known as the drugs supplier or being known as the one who dates the hottest people, somebody is constantly looking for FAME. I often wonder what propels most gays to want to exercise this behavior. Yea, it's easy to write them off as fags, whore's or junkies but I really believe there is more to it. I can't imagine someone wanting to live their life in the fast lane that usually ends in destruction(jail or dead). Then again, I never imagined that I would be a openly gay male.
"The second verse is dedicated to the men
More concerned with his rims and his Tims' than his women
Him and his men come in the club like hooligans
Don't care who they offend popping yang like you got yen"
-Lauryn Hill, Doo Wop
In life we encounter people of all facets. Although there are things we may not agree with, you learn to accept people for face-value. Some people who do bad things actually have good hearts(oxymoron but true). Check it, I have a friend named Goldie who lived with me for almost 6 months while I was a junior in college. She never stole from me and I could leave my wallet on the kitchen counter and come back the next morning and nothing be touched. She helped me with the bills and was a great person with a great heart but had issues. The issue was, she had sticky fingers and didn't really know how to balance her habit(ecstasy only).
Day in and day out she would go to different stores and take what she felt belong to her. She would then sells it for profit to buy drugs, a outfit for the club, and food. Although it was a known fact that I disagreed with her actions, I was a poor college student that needed occasional help with bills. Does that make me a bad person? That I don't know. But I do know that Goldie had been practicing her habits for years. She often tried to get her life back on track but usually hit a stumbling block due to her felony record. She had lost hope in the system so she continued to put her dreams on the back-burner so she could survive reality. Reality being, living for the moment by doing what she knows best...stealing. I mean, what would you do?
Little Goldie is Twenty-Five years old
She's steady trying to figure why the world is so cold
So she pops pills to get rid of all the pain
Runaway love, Runaway love(I will run away with you)
-Ludacris, Runaway love
I'm sure everybody has stories similar and probably worse. But I often wonder what is the excuse for the homosexuals that don't have a felony record? What is the excuse for the one's that were raised in a good home(whether it's single parent or with both parents)? These people had every opportunity to get it right. You have people who were in your corner since birth. You have no reason not to be employed because you have don't have strikes against your record. You can still get federal aid to go to college but most importantly, you still have a voice. How dare you NOT exercise your rights at a better life.
"We were rooting for you, we were all rooting for you and how dare you... Learn something from your actions and take responsibility for yo'self"
Tyra Banks yelling at Tiffany on Cycle 4 of America's Next Top Model.
Most of people practicing these hideous, unnatural things didnt have anybody while growing up. That's why they probably turned to drugs to be a void and escape their deepest pain. That's why they risked going to jail to get the Prada shoes because they never had the opportunity to get new shoes while growing. That's why they probably turn to prostitution because they often feel selfless and nobody never informed them of their self worth. I want y'all to know it's OKAY. It's never to late to change. I also apologize for not being a voice to the one's I could have actually advised. I apologize laughing at you and calling you LATE for being the way you are. Truth is, we all have insecurities and making fun of someone else only temporarily relieves us of our own self-struggles. I'll work better with the ones that need and want the help.
Nonetheless, I can't do it all. We as community have to step up to the plate together and educate our brothers and sisters who are growing up in a different world than we did. We often wonder why people are so stereotypical against gays. Some may say because we're judged on a different scale than heterosexuals, some may say because people are hateful and some may say because the world will never embrace love between the same sex. If you guessed this, your right. But there is a key element we're missing. Whatever happened to... us embracing OUR OWN potential. Whatever happened to homosexuals being the smartest in the class, the only one in the family that went to college and the one who worked twice as hard because they knew the world was against them? We have allowed these good things to pass us by and allowed the drugs, prostitution and theft to take over. No, I'm not saying that negative habits just came about. But yes I am saying their even more prevalent in today's society.
It's up to us to create a sense of importance on these deadly habits. Instead of calling these young kidz LATE, we have to be the beacon of light and continue to carry the torch of insight. If not, who will? Everybody will be in jail, sick(HIV/AIDS), uneducated and invisible. It's our call to duty to tell someone:
"No, you need to get back in school and stop the drugs."
"No, you need emotional therapy to deal with things in your past."
I know it all sound unrealistic but if it hadn't been for the older gays at Grambling State University helping mold me as a freshman in college, there ain't no telling where I'd be.
Take challenge...don't let it die!
Applause and we all start chanting together...BELOW
It's the mystery of Inequity...
Said it's the misery of Inequity...
Said it's the history of Inequity...
When it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down
Children...
Eat your bread
Little children...
Eat your bread
Cuz it all...
All falls down...
Telling you all...
It all falls down
Lauryn Hill "Mystery of Iniquity"
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